Abuse and Neglect

 

(You've got to be careful.)

On Sunday night, I worked with a sixteen-year-old girl named Mona. She told me some real disturbing facts about her life. Mom is a bipolar alcoholic, and Dad is addicted to both crack cocaine and heroin. She’s now an emancipated minor who lives in a trailer with one of her girlfriends.

I said, “Wow. That’s rough.”

“But I’m not going to let it hold me back. In fact, I attend high school online, and I graduate next year.”

I nodded. “That’s great. Education is important.”

“I couldn’t make it in a traditional school. I kept getting into fights with the teachers.”

A red flag immediately sprang up. “Fights? Do you mean with your fists?”

She smiled at me. “Of course not. The most I ever did was curse at them.”

“Why did you curse at your teachers?”

“Some of them would read my file aloud to the rest of the students in the class. Just to humiliate me. Real freaky shit. They should have been fired.”

Then another red flag popped up. I was a teacher in an American high school for five years. And I just can’t see my former colleagues pulling such a stunt. First of all, we never had access to the type of files she was talking about. Secondly, you would have been terminated on the spot for such poor behavior.

Then Mona discussed her future plans. “As soon as I get my diploma, I’m joining the Marine Corp. My boyfriend is a Marine. He’s in North Carolina.”

“The Marines. That’s great. They will certainly get you into top physical shape.”

“I’m already in great shape. I run and lift weights every day.”

I smiled at her. “That’s wonderful. It’s important to be healthy. In fact, it might be the most important thing in the world.”

“Plus I don’t do drugs. I only smoke weed and drop magic mushrooms. Oh, and I also vape. But that’s cool with the Marines. They don’t test for mushrooms or weed. And they let you vape during boot camp.”

For a moment, I thought about disabusing her of these false notions. But I figured that there really wasn’t much of a point.  After all, it’s her life, and she’ll have to find this shit out on her own. However, I did warn her about psychedelic drugs.

I said, “They are very powerful, psychedelics. When I was growing up, I knew a guy who thought he could fly. Then he jumped to his death. He was on LSD at the time.”

Mona laughed out loud. “I never in a million years thought I could fly. But one time I did feel like I was melting.”

“Melting’s not good.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I’m still alive. So fuck it.”

Then a young man and his father walked into the restaurant. They sat in my section, but Mona took them from me. Why? She could sense that flirting with these two gentlemen might garner her a big tip. However, I didn’t protest. I was too tired to care.

She served their food and talked with them for a good thirty minutes. She did her best to be charming. She laughed at their jokes and playfully swatted them on the arm when they became too cheeky. All this feminine attention garnered her a whopping ten dollars.

When they left, she turned to me with a scowl on her face. “Man, what a couple of losers. The old guy was trying to set me up with his son. They even invited me to come over and swim at their pool.”

And that’s the thing about survivors of abuse and neglect. Many of them seem cynical and predatory. They have a tendency to turn everybody into a mark. And when they experience kindness, they view it as weakness. But what do I know? I’m just a waffle boy.